Proof of Existence
by doomweasel
Summary: Having just joined the Organization, Larxene is having trouble adjusting to her new form when Axel gives her a lesson about the nature of existence. Rated for language and selfmutilation. A little AxelLarxene if you turn your head and squint really hard.


Light glinted off of cold steel as a blade sliced into pale flesh. Larxene clenched her jaw but otherwise remained expressionless as she cut a thin line into her forearm with her kunai. She peered closely at the gash, but not a drop of blood was to be seen. Brow furrowing, she hesitated a moment before cutting another, deeper slash parallel to the first. Still no blood. Another, still deeper gash left her sweating from the pain, but she never bled. A strangled growl escaped Larxene's throat. Her victims – those she'd hunted down to create her ranks of Shinobi Nobodies – _they'd _bled. But she...

Larxene removed her glove and stretched her shaking left hand out on her table, palm up. She stared at it for a few seconds, silently. Suddenly, she stabbed her palm with her kunai. Larxene bit back a scream of pain as she felt the blade slice through her hand, impaling it to the table. She slowly curled her fingers, each movement sending another wave of pain and nausea up her arm. She yanked her kunai out and examined the blade for any sign of blood. Nothing.

"Son of a _bitch._" Larxene raised her kunai, ready to stab herself again, when suddenly a larger hand caught hers, stopping her.

"You can fuck yourself up as much as you want," Axel said, "but you won't bleed – got it memorized? You'll just wind up with a messed-up hand, and you won't be able to fight."

Larxene refused to meet her superior's gaze and instead stared at her injured hand. "What the hell are you doing here? These are _my_ chambers," she growled. She didn't want to show that he'd surprised her; she hadn't yet adjusted to the Nobodies' ability to transport silently from place to place.

"I just wanted to see how the Organization's newest member was doing." Axel, who still hadn't let go of Larxene, bent just low enough to meet her gaze. An ironic smirk twisted his features. "Did I come at a bad time?"

"Fuck you."

"Thanks, but I'll pass."

"Let go of me."

Axel obligingly released her hand and watched with an expression of mild amusement as she tucked her kunai up her sleeve. "So are we done with the self-mutilation, or is it going to become a habit?"

Slipping her glove back on and gingerly flexing her hand, Larxene shot Axel an aggravated look. "I was experimenting," she said with as much dignity as she could muster. "I need to know the limitations of this body if I'm to use it effectively."

"Bullshit."

Larxene's ice-blue eyes narrowed as she resisted the urge to permanently wipe the shit-eating grin off Axel's face. "Excuse me?"

"'Experimenting' my ass. You were trying to make yourself bleed."

It wasn't a true emotion that Larxene felt, really – it was like the irritation one has when a chess opponent sees through one's plan more than anything. And, like a person playing chess, she merely decided to try a new tactic. "And what's it to you if I were?"

Axel shrugged, his head cocked innocently to one side. "Actually, absolutely nothing. After all..." He held out one arm and rolled up his sleeve, revealing a network of pale scars. "...We all tried it, at first."

An unexpected move; Larxene could do little more than blink with surprise. Her left hand gave a sudden twinge and she held it up as if to chastise it for bothering her. "If there's blood, there's pain," she said softly. "If there's pain, there's blood. That's how it is – always has been, as long as I was alive. It was what made me _real._" She clenched her fist and felt her middle finger press the leather of her glove into the hole in her palm – a strange sensation. "But if I don't even fucking _bleed..._"

"Then how can you be real, right?" Any trace of Axel's arrogance was gone. He drifted over to the table and ran his fingers over the hole in the white wood.

Larxene said nothing, merely stared at the ground.

Suddenly, Axel was standing right in front of her. "Commit this to memory, Number Twelve," he hissed, snatching Larxene's hand and pulling it towards him. "We may not bleed, but there still is pain." He began to squeeze her hand, crush it in his own, until her knees buckled and a small cry escaped her lips. Axel caught her chin before she fell and yanked it up, forcing her to meet his intense emerald gaze. "As long as there is pain, then _something_, some part of us, is still real. _Pain_ is our true proof of existence." Finally he released her, wiped his hand on his coat as if he'd touched something foul. "Got it memorized?"

Gasping for breath, Larxene sat in a heap on the floor. Her whole arm throbbed, and her hand twitched spasmodically. As she watched it tremble like a dying animal, a grin slowly stretched across her face, and she laughed.


End file.
